To start thriving in a world where it seems like all you do is try to survive, you must make fundamental shifts in how you view the world. The unfortunate part is that you may not even realize you’re just surviving your life rather than living it. Let’s dive in.

Most people live half-lives set up by their upbringing. To truly live in the world as a human, you must become a whole human being. This sounds like common sense, but it is incredibly hard for most people to achieve. Very few people are whole, and if they are, they do not live by the collective means, so you would not see them out and about flaunting their wholeness. The main hindrances to understanding how to thrive are a lack of humility and living in denial. Until these are confronted, you can never truly heal and take back ownership of your life.

LEARN TO SET BOUNDARIES

To shift from surviving to thriving, you first need to learn to set healthy boundaries. Boundaries are the rules of your life. If anyone breaks the rules, they face the consequences. If you view your being as a home, without boundaries, anyone can come in and out of it, since it is unguarded, with no gate, and the door is wide open.

When you set boundaries, you build a gate around your being, close the door, and hire a security guard; those who truly want to visit you are allowed in, while those who come to take and steal are kept out. Continually safeguarding your being keeps you sane, peaceful, and happy.

The cost of this might be loneliness or solitude, but I assure you, it is much harder to have a horrible life alone than with an abuser. You would first set the boundary by stating the rule (boundary), and then implement consequences (leaving the conversation or gathering) if the rule is broken.

RESEARCH YOUR OPPONENT

You might also learn about dark manipulation techniques to equip yourself with knowledge of the emotional weapons used by those who come to steal and destroy. You can learn about conversational and toxic patterns here on this website. This gives you a level up, so you can start identifying patterns to strengthen your boundaries for your idea of happiness in life. When you can put a name to an action, you can respond appropriately.

RECLAIM YOUR WHOLENESS AND SHADOW

Next, you’ll want to reconnect with all your feelings. When you feel, your body is communicating a message to you. Learn to receive your body’s messages and process them if required. Reclaim all of the feelings you were told you were not allowed to feel to live up to some imaginary ego that doesn’t truly exist or matter. Check out the article on feelings to take a deeper dive.

The next step will be to integrate your shadow aspects. Your unlived life goes into your shadow. Your anger, resentment, dreams, intuitions, selfishness, and such all go into your shadow since you are a human. Trying to suppress these feelings does not make them vanish; otherwise, you wouldn’t be human.

Integrate your shadow into your existence and heal your wounds through grieving. Once you do this, the charming manipulator or assertive person won’t be so appealing to you, because you realize you can also be charming and assertive. Then you’ll meet the person as they truly are and CHOOSE whether you want them in your life. In most cases of charm, the answer would be NO.

MEET YOUR INNER CHILD

The steps above help you get back in touch with who you truly are. The privilege of a lifetime, as described by Carl Jung. There is an additional step that can really transform your life: meeting your inner child. It is difficult to fool children as they look right through facades and can recognize energy.

Your inner child has gone into hiding and is waiting for you to acknowledge them. Just as you were ignored as a child, you are now repeating the cycle by ignoring your inner child. You’ll want to provide a safe space for your child to come out and meet you. Recall that you cannot fool children; if it is not safe, the child is unlikely to come out.

Then, when you meet them, you can tell them that it is safe now and that you, as the adult, will protect them and love them unconditionally (re-parenting yourself). This frees them from having to come out when you face conflict, because you will no longer get triggered and can handle it in an adult manner, since your child has relinquished control.

ACHIEVE YOUR DESTINY AND THRIVE

After the difficult steps described above, it is likely you will have a much smaller circle, if any at all. This is not regression. As the drama thins out in your life, you will have much more psychic space to do what you truly align with. You may initially experience this as a depression, but your body and psyche are re-aligning themselves to the new you with self-confidence, self-respect, and self-love. When you get through the transition period, your energy will no longer be scattered and will instead be focused on your true destiny.

“The world is at your feet after you become whole. You decide and choose your destiny.”

CONCLUSION

What is inside of you and what comes out on the outside will be in alignment, signaling a whole human being. There will no longer be conflict between how you feel on the inside and the actions you take in the outer world. This is the time to celebrate yourself, as the healing process does not come with applause and reassurance.

Time will seem to slow down because you are no longer in a hurry trying to prove this and that. You are moving in alignment with your integrity and what feels right to you. Urgency diminishes as you now validate yourself and the meaning of your life through self-love. At this point, you will be able to choose your life and destiny and put your energy into creation. This is the point when you begin to thrive in America and live out the life you’ve always dreamed of. I wish you luck on your journey, as every tear is well worth it in the end.