When growing up in an abusive, narcissistic household, the children become unhealthy adults. They lacked control over anything as kids, so they grew up as controlling adults, whether they are codependent caretakers or narcissists. Unhealthy behaviors learned in childhood manifest in adulthood in some way. The unhealthy adult must understand this concept or forever be a prisoner of their childhood. Let’s dive in.

HUMILITY IS REQUIRED TO GET TO HEALTH

To move from unhealthy to healthy behaviors, humility, courage, and honesty are required. The individual must be humble enough to surrender to the unknown. Life (your unconscious) will usually produce an event that breaks you and forces you to grow your humility or live in a numb state. When you realize that you do not know everything, you can take steps to become more knowledgeable. This is the process of recognizing a problem. Now that the problem has been recognized, steps can be taken to address it. Being able to listen to others, reflect on your choices, and analyze consequences can bring you to your knees and humble you.

Hence, when some people are spoken to about the healing they need, they go into denial and defense because they have yet to encounter an experience that forces them to be humble. I have seen people well into their 40’s who are clueless, while some in their 20’s have been humbled and realize that something is not quite right in their lives.

SOCIETAL SUCCESS HIDES YOUR PROBLEMS

The problem is masked when life appears to go right, in an unhealthy state. In that state, the individual is complying with everything their society and culture requires and is basically being used by everyone without their knowledge. They are fitting into society and think things are good. Yet, fitting in limits you since your ego is performing to do so. This puts them in a state that suggests their life is good, so “can’t nobody tell them nothing”. It is a very dangerous state that leads to denial and a lack of humility.

On the other hand, if the individual is bumping into all sides of the labyrinth while experiencing betrayals, they are much more likely to show humility and correct their behavior. These are the type of people who are ready to learn and take on the road less traveled.

Conclusion

You can’t fix a problem if you don’t identify it. Humility is required for real healing that can transform your life and help you shift from surviving to thriving each day. You only need to heal once to break out of the abuse cycle and choose your life. This takes time, but the reward of living out your destiny is well worth it!