Meeting your inner child occurs later in the healing process. This phenomenal experience should not be missed, as it turns your loneliness into solitude. I love being alone, and my inner child tells on everybody. Let’s dive in.

First, let me recommend the book Inner Bonding (Becoming a Loving Adult to Your Inner Child) by Margaret Paul. This phenomenal book helped me through my healing process and teaches you how to listen to your inner child with the intent to learn or the intent to protect. I highly recommend it.

There’s a little girl or a little boy waiting to meet you. If you are a narcissist, then you’ve buried this child, and accessing them will be a very difficult task. However, if you are a codependent caretaker, then this child is just hiding and still terrified to come out. You have chosen to live most of your life through your ego roles, and the child only comes out to defend you when you get triggered.

They also warn you through your gut feeling, but you’re so used to being gaslit by the narcissist that you likely ignore them all the time now. To provide a safe environment for your child to come out, you’ll want to be comfortable setting boundaries. You cannot fool children with displays and facades; if your child does not feel safe, he or she will not come out. This is why this comes later on in the healing journey. Providing a safe environment for the child to come out takes time and requires you to adjust your approach by setting boundaries and sticking to them with self-confidence, self-respect, and self-love.

RECONNECTING WITH YOUR INNER CHILD

To actually hear them, I recommend the book above, and in addition, think about when you were a child. You just wanted to impress your parents and have them acknowledge you, comfort you, and let you know you were enough. This is how you must treat your child. With presence, acknowledgement, and recognition. Children do not need displays of affection or corrections to their behavior, which suggests that they are not enough. They need to feel like they belong, and your inner child needs to feel like he or she belongs to you and can trust you unconditionally, just as they are, whatever that is.

LISTENING TO YOUR INNER CHILD DAILY

Once you’re able to reconnect with your inner child, you’ll never be the same. You will heed their warnings and trust their voice. I recommend placing their voice ahead of yours. When I went through healing, I used to challenge my child all the time. He was always right! So, I decided to always trust him for about a month. Boy, did I have a training. I let him train me to decipher situations, and I always listened to him. Having him teach me made me significantly more aware at a much faster pace. Children are infinitely smarter than adults at deciphering manipulation.

Now that he’s finished training me, he rarely bothers me. He only bothers me when I’m off, which is rare now. Me and my inner child are almost one. Also, my child tells on everybody, so it’s not wise to be around me trying to manipulate. I promise he will tell on you.

SOLITUDE AND YOUR INNER CHILD

Did we talk about turning loneliness into solitude? Oh, boy, do I love being alone. Even up until now, I’ve been recovering my life, so I have not had a huge opportunity to just chill with my inner child, but upon making it safe enough for him to come out, we’ve been having a ball. He understands that I am very busy trying to get my daughter back from her narcissistic mother. This is a monumental task when you figure out how the world works.

Anyway, I like to sing and dance. A couple of times now, when I’m very happy and joyful, and my child comes out, I let him completely take over my body. So, I literally dance like a child as he’s taken over. I cry all the time when this happens because I remember how much he’s been through. I’m tearing up for him right now as I write this. But I love that little boy and can’t wait until I can spend much more time with him, as toxic situations eventually come to an end.

I literally never feel alone, because I can hang out with him anytime, and he feels safe knowing Daddy always has his back and will take care of the bad guys. If you ever see me display emotion or aggression in my videos, some of it may have to do with ensuring he’s well-protected and never afraid to be himself. He is alright with everything his daddy does, as we are in sync practically all the time, as described above. This daddy will never again turn his back on his inner child. You’ll have a real man to confront if you think you’re gonna make him fearful!

HEALING THROUGH YOUR INNER CHILD

Something I discovered through my healing, and it is my strong opinion, is that at some point, you must grieve what the inner child experienced that caused him or her to go into hiding. This healthy depression is necessary to experience the feelings of the child without judgment and move forward in your adult life.

This is my strong opinion because, after much thought, I realized that sadness and anger are part of the shadow. You had to always be strong and couldn’t express those feelings, yet the inner child went into hiding. So, to heal, it would make sense that the grieving that was supposed to happen as a child in a healthy household must be experienced and allowed to pass through you to move on into your future. Otherwise, the grief would remain suppressed, meaning a part of your shadow is still unintegrated.

For me, this healthy depression happened during the spiral path of healing. I went from feeling better and better on a daily basis during my healing journey to becoming depressed when I realized I had to grieve the reason my inner child went into hiding in the first place.

My inner child is so attentive that he would bother me when I was watching shows like Dateline or 48 Hours. Now, if I’m watching television, I’m usually in a relaxed mode, although I can now solve some of these episodes within the introductory summary or very early on. During one particular show, he was bothering me, even though I was far along in my healing process and feeling good and relaxed, in my opinion. I didn’t know why he was bothering me, but I kept watching the show. After I finally put the show together on who was who, I realized he bothered me when the mother of the victim would talk throughout the show. Then I realized the mother was a horrific person and was, without a doubt, the reason her daughter became a monster like her. Her daughter got caught after killing multiple husbands, and that was the reason for the crime episode. I knew after putting things together that I had figured out why he was bothering me. Now, when I watch the crime shows, I look for all of the mentally disordered people and make a mental note, so he doesn’t bother me. Laugh out loud. The mental people could be the host, the police officer, the investigator, the crime lab tech, the parents, the next of kin, or the victims and their partners. Literally anybody on the show getting their ego attention supply could be mentally disordered, so I try to spot them all so as not to be bothered randomly when I’m supposed to be relaxing.

CONCLUSION

Connecting with your inner child is a joyful aspect of going through the healing process. It allows you to align with yourself and who you were before the world told you what you had to be. Before the joy comes, you will grieve a lot and feel compassion towards the child for what he or she had to go through. But keep in mind the child just needs your presence. They need you to see that he or she was real and that the experience was real. They do not need your compassion or solutions to what happened; they just need to see you and feel like they belong. This can transform your healing and bring great joy when you are alone, while also helping you learn even more about your genuine self.