For too many people, anger has been seen as bad. This is a recursive brainwashing of the masses to get people to behave in ways that adhere to the collective. The instruction begins at home, where you attempt to live up to the label of a good child. You do this by disowning anger, since bad children are angry. However, if you truly want to live your life, you must listen to your feelings of anger. It is the most beautiful feeling, and I rarely feel it today (outside of random annoyances).

Let’s tackle the concept of anger and why most people do not understand it. Anger is a feeling that any human can experience. Humans have different orientations toward being a giver (excess empathy) or a taker (minimal empathy). The feeling of anger coming from a giver versus a taker has drastically different results in the real world. 

Rage Vs Anger

Confusing rage and anger can have detrimental effects on your way of life. Rage is uncontrolled anger that seeks to cause great bodily injury to the victim. This anger comes from someone with minimal empathy who is either bullying a person or mad that they can’t have something their way. Normal anger is a feeling that signals to your body that a boundary violation has occurred. This type of anger comes from a person with ample empathy who is aware that something is off about the current situation. The two are night and day, and the latter is beautiful and allows you a path to dictate your life.

Exploring Your Beautiful Anger

When you get angry, that is a signal from your psyche that something is not right and a violation has likely occurred. When you receive this signal, take the time to process it and figure out what your body is communicating to you.

Has a clear boundary you have been crossed? Has a mild boundary been crossed? Has a severe boundary that could have devastating life-long consequences been violated? Is it more of an annoyance (adjacent boundary violation) that happens from daily life?

Paying attention to the answers to these questions can help you plan your next steps to address the anger through updated boundaries. It is generally not a good idea to hold anger in, as it will eventually turn into resentment. If you can take immediate steps to address the boundary violation, your body will return to stability much faster, which improves your nightly rest. Once you’ve listened to your body, you can form a plan to address the situation, considering your best interest as the overall goal. This may sound selfish to some readers, but you must understand that no one is coming to save you. And anyone who calls you selfish for caring about yourself is likely trying to control you because they are the selfish ones (projection).

“Let your anger guide your path.”

Now, let’s think of what happens if you do not address the boundary violation. You just let whatever happened that made you angry proceed unchallenged. You say things like “I’ll let it slide this time”. You don’t feel good, but you most likely want to project that you are good through your ego, so you swallow it and project a fake egoistic emotion outward. Doing this over and over builds resentment in your unconscious shadow, which takes a toll on your physical body. Eventually, you end up in therapy because you did not know healthy ways to handle conflict.

Dealing with anger by letting your ego compensate for it is a poor way to address it. It completely violates your boundaries (the rules of your life that other human beings must follow to interact with you) and leads to poor results, as it continually betrays yourself. As you learn more about yourself and sit with your anger, it will become easier to set boundaries and listen to what your unconscious is communicating. Each moment of anger is a teachable moment to learn more about yourself and adapt your boundaries if necessary. You can either walk through the world consciously with your boundaries as your guide, or you can traverse the Earth cluelessly and unconsciously, leading to real physical health problems down the road.

You should now recognize how beautiful your anger is and how important it is to live the life you’ve always dreamed of. Do not allow anyone to tell you that you don’t get angry, including yourself. Thinking that you don’t get angry means someone has successfully gaslighted you to keep you easily controlled. Instead, embrace your anger, learn about yourself, set boundaries, increase your self-love, and build the life you’ve always wanted.